No-Knead Bread

OK, let me just note that to say I am deficient in the area of baking would be a huge understatement. 

First of all, I am lazy.  Too lazy to beat, pound, and fold dough.  Too lazy to measure so precisely as to think one is administering life saving medication. Too lazy to worry with setting up, cleaning, using and cleaning again my Kitchenaid. Not happening anytime soon really. 

Second of all, I feed on a "craving" schedule.  This means if I want bread now - it is not likely I can wait for several hours to eat fresh homemade bread (or cookies, or cake, or meats, or, or, or). I have lost all ability to be patient in life. Gone. I only make "plan ahead" items to share.

Now, with all that being said - I STILL LOVE BREAD.  The only reason I do not eat more of it is most store-bought bread is stale before you get it.  We here in this area missed out on the great bakery-store concept that the Europeans and Mexicans figured out years ago. No corner deli, cafe or bakeries around here that I see.  There are a few restaurants that bring GOOD fresh bread to the table and I do like it - A LOT. Problem is, I will stuff my chubby cheeks with the bread and butter to the point of not eating anything else that I ordered.  Actually, I almost always end up with a doggie-bag that I forget in the car and end up literally giving to the dogs (or running from the car, holding the bag out from me as to try to leave the vapor-stank-trail behing me and behind my nose, to the trash. Then airing out said car).

So, back on point - I found a recipe.  Actually, my daughter found the recipe.  No-Knead Bread.  Woot! Yes!  Say it isn't so?  Lazy girl yeast bread making?  Yes, YEs, YES!  Daughter made this bread last year while visiting me. It was pretty darn good - not to mention oh-so-easy.  However, my laziness level was so high, I could not even be bothered to make the bread until this week.  Sad...

This rustic loaf is crusty on the outside and savory goodness on the inside.  The style of baking I am about to outline allows for rather large holes in the bread. A course bread. It is absolutely perfect for slathering on room temp European or Amish butters and dipping into heavier soups and stews OR simply dipping in whatever decorated Olive Oil you feel the need to sop up!

The initial recipe was developed by Sullivan Street Bakery and has been passed around and around and around the blog-o-sphere for a couple of years now. My daughter posted it in her notes and I am now writing about it and my experience with it.

Note, THIS recipe is good for WHITE all-purpose flour or bread flour in general.  As I found out this week - WHOLE-WHEAT flour is another story. A different set of steps to produce a tasty end-product. Rye, same thing.  There ARE flavor variations on this "No-Knead" theme, so be patient (LOLOLOL, good luck) and I will get some more posted as I make them.


In the Dutch Oven!

No-Knead Bread
 3 c. bread or all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp. instant yeast
1 tsp. table salt
1 1/2 c. warm water
Spatula
Large mixing bowl
Have a fully oven-proof pot with a lid (dutch oven is what I think is best - enameled or a well seasoned cast-iron one). No plastic parts as you will be baking at 450f degrees. Pyrex and metal pots are acceptable as well. But, as you can see, I do have a preference.

Shower caps for your food If you can still find them.

In a large mixing bowl mix the dry ingredients together. Some people sift the flour, some do not. I tend to sift so that I can sift them into the flour to make sure it is all evenly distributed before adding liquid.  Add the water and mix just until all dry ingredients are incorporated.  Take special care of the bottom of the bowl as the dry ingredients tend to stay there.   Cover the bowl tightly with Saran wrap or a lid. I use plastic bonnets that you can purchase in the same store sections as plastic wrap.  Let the dough sit, undisturbed, in a warm place for 12-20 hours*.  (NOTE:  I did not touch mine for 24 hours due to my work schedule.) The warmth helps the yeast do its thing and bring on the rising!  How do you like that for a scientific explanation! So, when we say leave it undisturbed, it means do not bother the dough for 12 - 20 hours.  There are reports of people moving on to the next step at 8 hours, but I suggest you go by the recipe your first time out (to get your baseline to start from and judge by) and then start playing with it to suit your environment, flour characteristics and etc.

When you are ready for the next step, grab you a spatula and wax paper.  Trust me on this!  Unless you like getting dough in your nails, DO WHAT I AM PREACHING NOW! Place a nice size sheet of wax-paper down on your counter, cutting board, dough board or what-have-you. Dust a generous helping of flour onto it.  Uncover your dough, wet the spatula (re-wet often), tip up the bowl over the floured wax-paper and use the spatula to pry the dough away from the bowl and down onto the wax-paper. Lift up one corner of the paper at a time and pry dough away from it, using the damp spatula, folding dough over on itself. I actually dusted the top of the dough with flour, but that is up to you. You do this like 4 times. You might need to dust a little more flour over the wax-paper.  I did it about 8 times because I am a rebel without a cause!

Then I totally break with the instructions temporarily.  I pick up the wax-paper with the dough in it and place it back down inside that same dirty mixing bowl. I know - don't say it, "pig, nasty, nut-bag".  I told you all I am lazy...  I recovered the dough with the plastic cover per the recipe and let it rise 2 more hours.  At 1.5 hours in (30 minutes before second rise is done), start preheating your oven and Dutch-Oven to 450f degrees.  You want to heat for 30 solid minutes.

At 30 minutes of heating (assuming your oven works better than mine and is now actually AT 450f degrees, dump the dough into the Dutch-Oven, shake the Dutch-Oven around a little to spread/smooth out the dough, cover with its lid and place back in the oven. Let bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake an additional 15-20 minutes.  Keep an eye on the dough to make sure you do not burn the surface. Remove the Pot from the oven, dump the bread out on a cooling rack.  You might have to use a utensil to loosen the bread from the pot bottom.

Grab your best bud, a bread knife and room temp butter and have a friggen party y'all!

Thoughts:

• I poured a little olive oil (very little) in the bottom of the hot pot before dumping dough in.  My thinking here is it will help keep it from sticking.
• I brushed olive oil onto the bread surface after taking the lid off the Dutch-Oven to brown the bread. This gives it a nice color.
• I only baked uncovered for 10 minutes because the bread was golden brown and I was happy with it.
• There is a school of thought in placing the dough, after it has done both risings, into the refrigerator for up to 8 days to further develop the flavor. You can also double the batch and keep one half of the dough in the refrigerator so that you can eat on the first loaf then bake the second loaf.
• The Dutch-Oven method allows for a small level of self steaming of the bread.
• Whole-wheat takes more liquids and oils than does regular flour. I will post the Whole-wheat recipe later.
• Place the pot closer to the top coils of the oven than the bottom. This should keep the bottom of the bread from crisping then burning/sticking to pot.
• To reheat bread, wrap in aluminum foil in heat in the oven at 350f degrees.  Daughter states it is a moist bread and the crust will soften. If you do not like this, crisp it in the oven at 350f degrees.

The Unsung Sammich

I will not insult you all by explaining how to make a sandwich or with what to make it. However, I will explain that I do subscribe to the notion that a sandwich is a sandwich and a sammich is perfection....  I just want to share with you all how wonderful a simple sammich can be. 
I believe a sammich:

• might not be made of the best ingredients, but they are made of the 'right' ingredients
• is the holiest of sammiches
• made by someone else is always tastier than one you make - even if they are exactly the same

It was a relatively quiet day at work and a co-worker and I decided we would share fix'ns for sandwiches. 
Grocery list:

• Store brand bread (88 cents)
• P&P Loaf cold cuts ($1.50)
• Oscar Meyer (yes I had to sing it to spell it) bologna (10 for $10)  
  
• Romaine lettuce hearts ($3)
• Vlassic dill relish (10 for $10)
• Grainger County tomato ($1.20)
• Store brand american cheese slices ($1.50) 
• We had mayo and mustard packets and already had sea salt and peppercorn medley mills 

 So, grand total for this meal? $10.08 

But wait, there's more!  This served up 3 sammiches and a small tomato salad today.  Tomorrow we only have to invest in a tomato and we can make 6 more sammiches and still have some leftover fix'ns cluttering the fridge to go with again!  

You do the math!

One would think this was not some special event - making up sammiches and all....  However, we discovered that RebaK was right - you can nuke bologna and turn it into fried bologna (which caused my co-worker to do the "happy dance" in the kitchen and I could not film it...) and that moaning in the office while eating these sammiches did not bring anyone running to see what was going on (and realistically, the moaning SHOULD have gotten someone's attention - seriously...).  

These sammiches were the shiznit!  

They made an otherwise droll day better!

!!!Go Sammiches!!!

Porky

I am tired.

So today I had a request to make pork chops using "Shake-N-Bake".  I was thinking to myself "self, you like to cook when there are folks to cook for, not use boxed meals."  "Oh, and self, you are tired..."

The last weeks have been sort of non-stop, in a way.  Animal sitting, running here and there with music events, gardening in my little raised garden beds, being the sole emotional support system for a loved one....

Why am I writing those vague little daily details?  As an explanation concerning why I agreed to do someone else's grocery shopping and use "Shake-N-Bake" pork chops today...

As much as I like to cook, and mostly CAN cook, I am baffled by the simplest instructions on boxed meal kits such as "Shake-N-Bake".  The concept of 'easy meals' is hard for me to grasp for some reason.  Now, does this mean I am incapable of nuking a TV dinner for myself?  Hell no!!!  I will nuke and eat a TV dinner at the drop of a hat if I am sitting around alone and in a 'mood' as I will not waste energy going out or whipping up meals every day.  Of course I add finishing salt, fresh ground pepper, Amish butter......  

I am a social cook.  I need the approval of the foods I cook by friends and family to make the effort worth while.

Anyhow, no, I cannot do anything the easy way it seems (see TV dinner nuking above...).  What makes pork chops better? BRINING! Yes! Let's brine the pork chops for a few hours THEN use "Shake-N-Bake" on them! 

Who does this?

Me...

Salt bath anyone?

Today's brining solution for 4 bone-in pork chops was 2 cups water, 2 tablespoons table salt, 1 tablespoon honey, and a 1/2 teaspoon each of garlic powder and onion powder.  I mixed up the solution, rinsed off my 4 chops, put the chops and the solution in a large Ziploc bag and placed in the fridge for 6 hours.  I would 'agitate' the bag periodically (meaning as I remembered) during those 6 hours.

I preheated the oven when I got hungry, read the box directions (which I will not force you to read here) and followed them.  I probably should have rinsed the salty goodness off the chops, but hey, I like salt...

I baked the chops on an old aluminum foil-lined pizza pan and let me just say................

Moist.

Flavorful.

Good stuff.  I served those breaded puppies up with homemade cornbread and black-eyed peas. Nothing healthy to see here folks!  Keep it moving, keep it moving.....

Today, I found a recipe for homemade shake-n-bake a on a blog called Diary of a Recipe Addict. I am so going to try this!  If I make my S&B mixture, then I can be happy!

My Spicy Saltines

I was introduced to these little flavor packed gems at Ciderville a few weeks back when there was a birthday party for one of the younger regulars.  A party-goer brought a version of these.  I was pushed, against my assumed better judgement, to try one and - I was hooked.  I could not get the recipe that night, but does that ever stop me?

Let's say.....  "NO"

It's GOOGLE time in Tennessee!  I found option after option and started playing with them. 

My little H.O.T. beauties have a pretty red tint

Think impromptu popcorn alternative for a DVD couch date, a snack to pass at a party, or easy to transport treat for remote gatherings such as picnics or camping.

Hot version:
1 1/4c canola oil or light flavored olive oil
1 package dry Ranch dressing mix (not dip mix)
1-3 tablespoons crushed red pepper (looks pretty and adds FLAVOR)
1 tablespoon GROUND red pepper
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 box (16 oz) saltine crackers of your choice.

Mild version:
1 1/4c canola oil or light flavored olive oil
1 package dry Ranch dressing mix (not dip mix)
1-3 tablespoons crushed red pepper (looks pretty and adds FLAVOR)
1 tablespoon GROUND red pepper OMIT
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 box (16 oz) saltine crackers of your choice.

Choose your version, or make up your own. 

Mix the oil and all dry ingredients except for the crackers.

Place the crackers in a large ziplock container or a large gallon *ziplock bag.

Pour the mixture all over crackers and seal the container/bag. Turn the container/bag in all directions. Aggitate, etc.  Do this for 15 minutes or until it looks like the liquid is fairly 'gone'.

The crackers are great pretty much there. However, if you are afforded the luxury of a few hours to a day or 2, they get better so make ahead of time!

Also, as a crisping option, preheat the oven to 250 degrees F.  Spread the crackers over a baking sheet and bake for 15-20 - turning them over about half through the 'crisping' time.

*If you use the baggie option, consider using 2 so they are not bunched up and can be aggitated to assist in evenly coating them.  Put half the crackers in each bag and pour half the mixture in each baggie.

If you wish to half the recipe - do the math.  I personally make half  batch at a time.  I paperclip the ranch dressing packet for later use.

Obviously, as with most of my offerings, in this cyber pantry, you can play with the spices. Change the amounts to suit you.  You can omit all the actual spices here and go with a combination that sits well with your palate.  Think Ranch dressing mix, dill and garlic powder.

Sweet Endive, Nuts, Feta, & Honey

Well, there is the recipe for this appetizer - right in the title. 

Done.

OK, not really done.

This recipe is as I remember it.  The photo is from a recent serving of it.

It was a surprise find several years ago when my then husband and I went to a dinner party (yes, imagine it!  We did dinner parties).  The hostess served these little treasures up as a time filling appetizer while the main course finished.  I remember nearly turning my snooty nose up at these babeees, but at the nudging of my socially advanced then husband, I took a bite. 

Hooked.  In love.  Have found no one trying them and then not liking them. 

Rich in folate, fiber, & Vitamins A & K

This appetizer has no fancy name that I know of. It just is what it is. Belgian Endive, Walnuts, Feta, and Honey.

• Endive, believe it or not, is part of the 'Daisy' family! It is eaten raw or cooked. 
• Nutritional Information Found at http://www.ba.ars.usda.gov/hb66/053chicory.pdf
• Find it in the fresh vegetable section at most local grocery stores.
• $1.99 for ONE (1)
• The walnuts can be plain or toasted. 
• I am curious what candied nuts would do for everyone!
• Choose cheeses such as Feta (milder), Blue Cheese, or Gorgonzola (Italian Blue Cheese).
• I have found that I prefer a strong cheese over the Feta - to counteract the sweetness of the honey.
• The honey can be whatever honey you have in your cupboard. 
• Just as an FYI, honey does come in 'varieties'. It all depends on where those little busy bees buzzed. It depends on the variety of flower predominant in the batch of honey. In my limited experience, honey ranges from lighter/milder tasting forms all the way to dark, can't see light through it, strong molasses tasting honey.

Witloof Chicory (Cichorium Intybus L)

I am not going to give amounts here.  I think a photo does the trick in that respect.

Slice off about one 1/2" of root end of each clean endive head and separate the leaves. Arrange them on a platter/plate of your choosing.  Whatever makes the presentation pleasing to you.

Sprinkle your choice of cheese crumbles inside of each leaf.

Sprinkle chopped nuts over the cheese.

Drizzle, as artistically as you see fit, the honey of your choosing.

Options:

• Leave off the honey and finish each treasure with fresh ground black pepper instead.
• Serve with apple slices as an accompaniment.
• I prefer Braeburn or Pink Lady

I do not know how far ahead of time you can make these, but they take so little time, I would not worry with that.

Vegemite Sandwich?

How many of you 80's kids remember the group "Men at Work" singing "Down Under"?
It was released in October 1982 I believe...

I do not remember all of the lyrics, but i can tell you one part that has stuck with me for - how many years?

You do the math....

"I said, "Do you speak-a my language?" He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich..."

I never knew what "Vegemite" was...  I had never even seen it...

Well, on a trip to the "World Market", I found it quite by accident.  Here is a photo...

Now, was I brave enough to buy it and try it? No.  Will I try it in the future?  Probably not.
But, with the lovely Internet age, I was able to look it up!  GOOGLE Babee (I still ain't no BINGer).

Vegemite is a dark brown paste made from used brewers' yeast extract which is a by-product of beer making! It is said to taste salty and slightly bitter - not unlike beef bouillon. In Australia they spread it on sandwiches, crackers, toast and etc.

MMMMM, sound enticing?

Nope - didn't tweak my interest either...

The Inventory

"A careful inventory of all your past experiences may disclose the startling fact that everything has happened for the best."  ~ Unknown

My bag of food tricks

I was in the kitchen at work when I realized I had left my 'travel-cooler-bag-of-tricks' on the counter - forever......  Time to take it home. 

This bag was a mainstay for me and had traveled with me over a few years on trips to quite a few places. Camping, Virginia, Washington DC, golfing, more camping, Athens (Tennessee, not Greece), the Lost Sea (admit it, you know where I am talking about), etc.  I typically carried it with food (cheeses, crackers, fruits, juices, chocolates, etc.) so that we always had something to munch on and always supplies to prepare and munch with. 

When I noticed that the front pocket zipper-pull was missing and as I started to zip it shut, I caught a glimpse inside.  I realized I had no idea what was in the pocket, or the bag for that matter, because I had not been anywhere with it in so long.  The bag has been shoved in a closet for the past year.

I started digging through it and found: 1 vegetable pealer, 1 bottle opener, 2 cork screws, 2 old corks, 2 bottle stoppers, a wine tasting book, 1 container of sea salt, 1 pepper mill, a cheese board, a very sharp knife, 1 wire cheese slicer, 3 cloth napkins, 2 small paper plates, a half dozen place settings of plastic flatware, 3 coffee condiment sets from a hotel and a tea bag, 4 tickets for the International Spy Museum in Wash. DC, 1 Metro card, and a list of electronic panel notes that are not in my handwriting.

Why am I writing about this?  I have no idea...  I guess I just wonder how I let it happen. I mean, obviously with 2 cork screws and the rest of the items I found in there, I/we were having fun and always satisfied, right?

How did allow myself to get to a place in my life where I get away so seldom and when I do I don't even remember to carry my bag of food tricks....

Tomorrow I will turn that corner and get back on "my" path in life by preparing for a short personal holiday.  This holiday will include "I have no idea what". I might take Cleo-the-dawg with me.  I probably won't see a soul that I know.  I will just drive, putz, and see what comes up.  I am going to make (and break) my own rules and go by no one's schedule.  OK, except maybe Cleo's schedule if I really take her with me.

BTW, I replaced the zipper pull with a jumbo striped paper-clip!

"Inventory"

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:

Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”
~Dorothy Parker

Did Anyone Hear that Gunshot?

And here we have it!

Gunshot Sauce! Original Recipe or Hot & Spicy!!!

So I found this at the Oak Ridge Kroger's.  I did not buy it, but wish that I had.  I will buy it later this week during my grocery time.

I did a little looking and found a website for the company.

http://gunshotsauce.com/gunshot/

Looks like it is a vinegar-based sauce and I am all about vinegar!

No Icing Chocolate Cake - AKA - Chocolate Love in a Box!!!

I have been making this cake since I learned the recipe from a General's wife in Darmstadt W. Germany back in 1986-1987.  This cake, as easy as it is, will make you look like a baking rock-star at gatherings.
This is the ONLY chocolate cake I will eat HAPPILY without icing. I am an icing maniac – but with the almost ‘cheesecake’ marbling and the chocolate chips – it is great without messy icing. This makes it very portable for family gatherings – picnics and etc.

No Icing Chocolate Cake

Cream Cheese Addition:

• 1 (8+- ounce) pkg cream cheese of your choice – SOFTENED at room temperature maybe an hour or 2
• 1 egg beaten
• ¼ c granulated sugar
• ¼ - ½ tsp vanilla

Cake Portion:

• 1 box Betty Crocker (Pudding in the mix) Devil’s Food Cake Mix
• (Make sure you have the ingredients you must use with the mix – i.e. eggs, oil, etc)

The Love:

• 1 (12+- ounce) package chocolate chips (regular size or mini) – semi sweet – any brand. I have never used the whole package. Usually half a package – but hey, it is YOUR cake!

Equipment:

• Hand mixer (unless you are crazy enough to whip this up by hand power)
• 1 mixing bowl large enough to handle the Cake Portion
• 1 bowl large enough to hand the Cream Cheese addition
• 1 scraper for scraping bowl sides
• 1 knife to run through the batter/cheese to give the ‘marbled’ effect.
• Cake pan of your choice

Cream Cheese Portion in 1st bowl:

• Using the hand mixer, cream the cream cheese brick.
• Add the sugar and cream that in.
• Add the egg and beat that in.
• Add the vanilla and beat that in.
• Set aside.

Cake Portion in 2nd bowl:

• Prepare the cake mix per the recipe on the box.
• Pour batter into the cake pan of your choice

Finish:

• After pouring the batter into the pan, I tap the pan on the counter to help settle the batter in it.
• I sprinkle however many chocolate chips I feel like – on the top of the batter at this point.
• Take the spatula and place 6-8 large dollops of the cream cheese mixture around the top of batter in various spots.
• Drop more chips on TOP of the cream cheese dollops.
• Run the knife/flat spatula up and down the batter to create the marbled effect.

Bake per directions on box.

Suggestions:

• Set out the cream cheese a couple of hours ahead of when you want to make this recipe. Adjust time according to how hot/cold your environment is. And do NOT use a microwave to try to speed the process. I say THIS from EXPERIENCE….
• Mix up the cream cheese/cheese cake portion first so the cake with its leavening components is not sitting waiting in the pan.
• Scrape bowls periodically during mixing.
• Shiny metal pans are the first choice for baking cakes.
• Dark non-stick cake pans may require you to reduce heat by 25F because they absorb heat and brown faster.
• I use the largest cake pan the box calls for. I have never tried this recipe for cupcakes or tiers.
• Bake in center of oven.
• I absolutely use the longest baking time called for on the box for the size cake pan I am using.
• Cake is done with a toothpick poked in the center comes out clean.
• Cool cakes on a wire rack away from drafts.
• Due to cream cheese mixture, I refrigerate the cake if I am going to be keeping it for several days, but it will work at any event without cooling. 

SOUTHWESTERN CHICKEN SALAD – I had no idea…

A very slight variation on a Pampered Chef Recipe

I had no idea I would ever willingly pass up cake for salad.

My friend Lisa invited me to a Pampered Chef (PC) party – and it happened to fall on a day that work was INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE.  I had a “run-in” with a co-worker that I did not expect.  Needless to say, I was NOT in good humor. 

Actually, I have been in ‘less than good humor” for a few months.  That is a story for another day. 

Anywho, I was in no mood to attend the party, but Lisa needed bodies, and I committed myself to attend a whole month ahead of time. Lisa is great at reminding me when the event it coming up.  I cannot even conveniently ‘forget’.

I am not a big “gadget” girl.  I especially avoid electrical appliances. Why?

• Cost (I always want the best – champagne taste on a beer budget)
• Space to store them (I have a 900 Sqf house)
• If the power goes out, I can keep cooking/prepping by candlelight and with a grill

I guess I need to list MY ‘cooking must-haves’ someday.

I had only been to one other PC party. I purchased a slicing mandolin and a set of torte pans – that I have never used. I had warned Lisa that I would probably not buy anything really, but I would go.

Famous last words.

So, in the ‘not so fabulous mood’, I meet up with Lisa and follow her to I-have-no-idea-where. I remember saying out loud ‘Hurry up, I hear banjos playing’.  Now, it wasn’t the country – but I had no idea where I was.  Thank goodness I have a GPS to get me back home, or I would be typing things like “Help, I am trapped in a cell-phone factory and I can’t get out!

When the ‘party’ started, there were 10-12 people. The PC consultant was high energy and a good saleswoman. She had us engaged and participating.  No small task with me that night.  I was the first to fall – she picks me to be the ticket-girl. I gave out tix to anyone who asked a question about the business end of PC.  Yes, PC is always looking for a few good women!  If I were ever going to be a consultant for a business such as this (Avon, Premier Jewelry, Princess House, etc.) it would be PC.

After the initial quick run-through of specials, business options, and highlights in the catalog, the consultant announced we would have food for the evening and proceeded to assign each of us a task for creating the meal of the night. 

Menu:

• No-Knead Yeast Bread made earlier
• Southwestern Chicken Salad
• Chocolate Lava Cake

She asked ‘who has had the worst day’? Lisa points to me…  So, I got to ‘beat the meat’.  Yes, it went hysterically downhill from there. We had spice girls, a cake mixer, a salad spinner, can openers…  But no, Cookie gets to not only beat her meat, she also got to massage her breasts with olive oil. Do you see where that went?  The atmosphere went downright dirty…  It was fun actually.

So, bottom line? I learned the following tips:

1. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts cook unevenly due to thickness issues. So beat the meat to even it out.
2. When beating your meat, put it in a ziplock bag to keep the mallet clean and keep meat from flying if you get too energetic with beating it.
3. Put a little olive oil inside the bag after you beat your meat – and massage that oil around in the sealed bag.
4. You can make ready-made salad dressing into a totally new flavor with a few added ingredients.
5. Chocolate Lava Cakes made in the microwave are pretty darn good.
6. If a salad is so good that I will pass up the chocolate cake and stuff myself on the salad – it is an awesome salad!
7. If you cut up, wash and spin dry your lettuce, then place it in a paper-towel lined stainless bowl and cover, it will last like a week.  I am currently testing this one!

My Purchases:

• 2 each Dijon Mustard Rubs
• One for me, one for a friend
• I just smelled it in the bottle and I was ‘up-sold’
• 1 grill pizza pan
• For cooking your pizza in the grill
• 1 set of nesting biscuit cutters
• For a friend.
• I use my grandmother’s old cutter.
• 1 Adjustable Measuring Cup
• For a friend.
• 1 Mini Adjustable Measuring Cup
• For a friend.
• 1 Food Processor (non-electrical)
• Mine, all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just say that I have made the Southwestern Chicken Salad several times in the past 3 weeks.  EVERYONE has LOVED it. Nobody has turned their nose up or thought it was simply “ok”.  This is a great salad with a different flavor.

OK¸ enough of the babble.  As with most ‘non-baking’ recipes, I have made a few changes and have noted them in the following recipe:

Ingredients:

• 16 ounce bottle of ranch salad dressing
• 1 fresh jalapeno pepper (with pith/seeds removed and diced or run through food processor)
• Juice of 1/2 or 1 lime (I use fresh squeezed, not bottled)
• 4- 6 tsp. taco seasoning mix (I like a little more than the original 4 tsp) I make my own now....
• 1 small yellow or red onion (I do not put much onion in, but that is my preference)
• 1 ½ +- pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1-2 Tbl. Olive oil
• 1 clove fresh garlic, peeled and minced (I use a garlic press)
• 1 head iceberg, green leaf, or romaine lettuce (I use romaine)
• 3 Roma tomatoes (or a package of cherry/grape tomatoes)
• 1 fresh cucumber, sliced (you can score along the length of the cucumber with a fork to create a ‘flower’ affect after they are sliced)
• 1 green, red or yellow bell pepper
• 1 can (14 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 can yellow sweet corn, drained
• 1 block (8 ounces) cheddar cheese, grated (Or bagged pre-grated Cheddar – I like super-super sharp)
• 1 bag tortilla chips, crushed
• Your choice of ‘rubs’ for the chicken.  (I use homemade taco seasoning)
• Optional: Sliced Avocado

Instructions:

• Dressing
• Pour salad dressing into a 2c (or larger) glass/ceramic container.
• Stir in jalapeno, lime juice and taco seasoning and stir well. I use a whisk.

• Chicken
• Place chicken breasts in a ziplock bag, get most air out and seal it.
• Use a mallet to beat your meat – down so that each breast is generally the same thickness from one end to the other.
• Open the bag, pour your olive oil in, reseal and massage the oil around all over the breasts.
• Open the bag, add the garlic and reseal and massage the garlic around your breasts.
• Coat a fry pan with oil and preheat on medium heat. Or preheat your George Foreman Grill (that is what I have been doing).
• Press ½ lime over chicken using Citrus Press (note, I have NOT done that yet. Keep forgetting!)
• Either cut open the bag or pull your breasts out of the covering and coat with your choice of “Rubs”
• You can use salt and pepper if you wish, but if you choose a nice “Rub or Rubs” will negate the need really.  And THAT piece of advice comes from someone who OFTEN over salts foods because I LOVE SALT.
• I would tell you how long to cook the chicken – but that is up to you. You want it cooked through, but not dry.
• Cut into thin slices – maybe 1”-2” in length. Do as you wish on that part.

• Salad
• Cut lettuce of choice
• Rinse lettuce well and spin excess water out in spinner
• Place in large bowl
• Add chicken, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, black beans, sweet corn, cheddar cheese, avocado (if used), and crushed tortilla chips.
• Toss
• Add salad dressing.
• Toss
• Serve
• -OR-
• Layer the salad ingredients to be pretty.
• Serve with dressing on the side.

My suggestions:

• The salad fed 10 people (along with a no knead bread that was made ahead of time and a chocolate lava cake). 
• You can cut all the ingredients and store in the fridge separately to pull at a moment’s notice. 
• Great for carting to lunch functions.
• If you make a large salad, do NOT put the crushed chips in it until ready to serve so they do get soggy.
• If you are serving this for a lot of people at one time and want to make sure your dressing does not run out – toss it into the salad before serving.
• If calories are a concern, use a low cal Ranch dressing.
• If calories are a SERIOUS concern, water the dressing down before tossing it into the salad.  You would not believe how far the flavor still goes.

Beer Chili and Rubber Fetishes – OR – Revenge is Best Served…

HOT!

So what do Rubber Fetishes have to do with cooking?  Not a thing unless you are thinking “Food Porn”.  I was just watching Rubber Fetish videos, while giggling my little self silly, and decided to write this blog since this weekend I am making enough Beer Chili and Corn Bread to feed 25 people.

For me, this is a rather unique, no-bean, chili.  Since I grew up in the Eastern US, I have not had chili without beans very often.  I guess this would be considered a Texas style chili.  I had originally found the Beer Chili recipe around 12 years ago on eHow.com. I did not think to actually save the recipe and eventually it was no longer on the website.  I had to play with, and adjust, other recipes until I had what I liked.  It was worth the effort.  Feel free to play with it some more people.

Cooking, to me, is all about making food work for you! 

Or for food fights…

Or for making sexy movie scenes (9 ½ Weeks anyone?)…

The first time I made this chili from that recipe, all those years ago, my then beau had the “good graces" to inform me that one of his co-workers made chili the week before and it was much hotter than mine….  Now, I admit I was not into “hot” foods and I did cut out one of the peppers, but I was not taking this lying down.

But really?

That statement was obnoxious on multiple levels: 

• You, my fine friend, got lucky as YOU did not have to cook, or even help cook, or do the dishes.
• You never dis a dish without love, compassion and genuine fear.
• You never unfavorably compare it to mamma’s or anyone else’s, especially if you want me to cook again.
• You can do better? Bring it!
• Never, ever, underestimate my ability to recognize and rise to a challenge.

Yes, this is a sticking point with me.  I understand we all have preferences.  I understand we do not like every dish or rendition of a dish.  THAT is ok.  What is not ok is voicing a tactless opinion when you should be happy someone cared enough to cook for you.  If you do not like a dish, it is ok to say it is not your favorite when asked.  That saves the cook from wasting time, energy and money on something you do not like.  But loosely draw comparisons because it causes animosity. 

I made the chili again a few weeks later. I MORE than doubled the heat by doubling the peppers called for, and by leave the pith and seeds in half of them.  Note:  By removing the pith and seeds from hot peppers, you greatly diminish their heat.

Uh, Mr. Mr. could hardly eat it, but had to suck it up knowing what he had said the first time I made the chili.  He could NOT lose face…  He wound up with blisters.  No, I am not kidding.  I, on the other hand, loved it.  The heat was pure and awesome.  I, the usually spicy-heat light-weight, had no problem eating the chili (to my surprise).  And, the more often I reheated the pot, the better it became.  The funny part?  While reheating it drew out more flavor, it also lent a frightening smell of acid to the whole house and served to intensify the heat…  It was a little scary really.

Lessons learned the first two times around with Beer Chili?

• Wear gloves when cutting Habaneras
• Wear a mask when cutting Habaneras
• Revenge is best served hot, hot, hot

Message received Biatch!

Beer Chili Ingredients

3 or 4 bottles beer

2 pounds Ground Beef (or Ground Turkey if you want to pretend to eat healthy) well cooked - drained

¼ - ½ pound moderately cooked bacon chopped up small

1 onion chopped fine

1 can tomato sauce

1 can tomato paste

4 cloves minced garlic

3 jalapeños or habaneras without seeds/pith - diced

1 or two bell peppers cut up small

Salt & Pepper to taste

A little hot sauce or chili powder to taste

BIG Beer Chili – for those days when you are going O I N K!!!

7-8 bottle beer

4 pounds ground meat - cooked well and drained

½ - 1 pound moderately cooked bacon chopped up small

2 onions chopped fine

1-2 tomato sauce

1-2 tomato paste

8 cloves minced

5 habaneras without pith/seed

2 -4 bell pepper cut up small

Salt & Pepper to taste

A little more hot sauce or chili powder

The recipes can be made without the tomato sauce and paste – but you really have to like the beer flavor a lot to go without them.

Play with the tomato products.  Maybe you like the taste of tomato paste more than tomato sauce, vise versa, or you swing both ways…

I use Mexican beer – it seems to garner the best results in my book. But typically it is not the cheapest choice.

Change up the type of hot peppers or mix and match. Jalapeños work well.  Habaneras give that pure heat. I often mix peppers… I just depends on how much heat and cutting your can stand.  It also depends on what peppers are available at the store or in your garden.

Wear gloves when cutting up Habaneras peppers, or any other hot peppers.  I can tell you, from experience, that the ‘heat’ in the peppers does hurt your fingers after a few peppers are cut up finely.  AND, no manner of washing gets that residue off right away.  If you touch yourself,or anyone else with your hands it will burn that skin as well.  And, the more you touch, the worse it gets.  Friction is not your friend where pepper residue is involved.  Just say’n… 

Yes, as with most of my recipes, change up the amount of each ingredient as you see fit.  Make it fit your desires.

Smoked bacon is fabulous in this recipe. And when I say FABULOUS, I mean “Shut the front door Becky” FABULOUS!

Get to it:

You can either cook the ground meat in a skillet/frying pan OR in the pot you will be making the chili in (to save on cleaning time and effort).  I prefer enameled cast-iron pots, but any heavy pot will work. Put on the ground meat and cook as well as you like it.  I learned that I like the ground meat cooked very well and broken up to very small pieces.  My daughter never liked chunky ground beef in recipes (pasta sauce, soup, chili) but she was fine with it when cooked well and in small pieces.  Size does matter!  Make it yours. 

Cook the bacon until firm, but not crisp.  Well, you can cook it how you wish, but I am NOT a fan of crispy crisp (or limp) bacon in dishes that I cook.

While the meats are cooking, you can cut up the veggies.  If you are smart, you will have the veggies cut ahead of time.  If you are really smart, you will have someone else suffer through the cutting of the peppers.  Especially if they have ever had the nerve to compare you food with someone else’s and yours did not come out favorably in the comparison. 

Drain the meats. I do keep some bacon grease in the chili.  Yes, let’s revisit the part where I am from the South East and believe that bacon great is a flavoring, as well as skin conditioner…

Put the meats in the cooking pot on medium heat.

If tomato paste is used, dump it into the meat mixture and mix it in well.  It helps physically break up the paste.  If you pour in the liquids first and then add the paste, it seems to take longer to mix the paste in.

Add the beer, veggies, spices, etc.  Stir well and bring to a low boil while stirring.  Be careful not to burn the chili.  Immediately turn heat down to low, cover and heat for at least one hour.  Stir occasionally.  I like to let it simmer for a few hours because the flavor develops over time.

You also have the option of sautéing the various veggies prior to adding to the pot.  I have never done that with this recipe, so I do not know how (or if) it would change the flavor.

This chili truly does get better with age (the reheating process on the stove top).  In light of this, I do not typically reheat it in the microwave.  Speed is not called for in many areas of life – this being one.

By day 3, if you can manage to make enough to keep it that long, it is splendid!

I rarely use chili powder, or use very little of it.  I realize that chili powder is a staple in “CHILI” but there is nothing wrong with being different or thinking outside the cuffs.  I mean box.  Yea, that's what I mean...

Remember:

• Many of these ingredients will fair quite well being prepared ahead of time.
• Preparing this chili a few days ahead of serving is not only helpful in entertaining time management, but preferable taste-wise.
• Seriously, always use protection when handling spicy-hot peppers.  A little latex goes a long way.
• Really crisp bacon has no place in this chili, but neither does limp bacon.  Go with firm.  I always favor FIRM. No limp meat.
• Adjust ingredients to make it your own.
• Don’t take grief off of anyone eating your food.  It is ok if they do not like it, but it is in bad form for anyone to compare your food with someone else’s unless the statement includes “and yours is as good as mom makes”.
• Never underestimate the flavor development from stovetop reheating. It might take longer than the microwave, but it is worth it. (Yes, I mentioned this how many times?  It is that important.)
• And, as in anything worth doing, never rush…

Zen and the Art of Boiling Eggs

Hard Boiling Eggs  

Don't you love it when you go to make pickled eggs or the perfect Southern delicacy - Deviled Eggs - and when you peel them, you end up with cut fingers AND the ever lovely ripped up, dimpled and ugly eggs?  You end up either eating the "Uglies" or being embarrassed by the 'beauty' of the eggs you serve up to guests (because how many of us make deviled eggs just for ourselves?).

When boiling eggs, there are things you can do to help make the peeling process go a little smoother.

Fresh eggs do not peel easily when boiled.  So, use the older eggs in your fridge!  Choose eggs that are “in date” of course when preparing food.

Start the pot with cold water and the eggs.  Dropping cold eggs into hot water can shock the eggs and cause the eggs to crack prematurely.  I luv the word “prematurely”.

Boil the eggs over medium high heat so as to not “hard/rapidly rolling boil” the eggs because that can cause them to bounce off one another and crack. Stay with a “low” boil.

Pull the eggs from the fridge and put into a pot.  Run enough cold water into the pot to cover all the eggs.

Bring the eggs and water to a low boil for about 1 minute. Turn the temperature down to low-medium heat and simmer for 3 minutes.  Turn off the heat and let the pot sit covered for 10 to 15 minutes. 

Pour off the hot water, cover with cold tap water and cool the eggs quickly.  I often go ahead and crack the shells at this point as I find that helps make peeling easier as well.

Once the eggs are cool to the touch, you SHOULD be able to peel fairly easily at this point.

Short of it: 

• Do not hard boil really fresh eggs
• Place eggs in straight from tap temperature water to start
• Don’t cook the eggs in water at a “rolling boil”
• Cool eggs down rapidly before peeling

If you use the above process and tips, you should have fewer "ugly eggs".

Now get to boiling those eggs because I am hungry...  And don't forget MY invite!

:) 

Pennsylvania Dutch Green Beans

This recipe falls into the Comfort Food category for me!

It is my understanding that this “Sweet and Sour” dish is an old recipe.  I have no idea about that and found no real information outlining that lineage.  I just know that I LUV it!

The story behind my receiving this recipe is vaguely funny.  I was introduced to this recipe by my one time fiancé’s OTHER fiancé.  Yes, a fellow I was once engaged to had at least 2 women he was engaged to at one time, simultaneously. The day she and I learned of one another was the day HE lost 240 pounds instantaneously.  She and I became friends and he was no longer engaged to anyone.  OK, so we thought.  Turns out he married a whole third lady four months later!  So much for 7 years of life!  I am not advocating gaining recipes this way, but this was a delish nom to come from such a nightmare!

Now, on to the recipe!

I suggest you read the whole recipe before you do your grocery shopping for it.

Ingredients

• 3 slices bacon *  (can be cooked ahead and crumbled as you see fit)
• 2-3 teaspoons cornstarch **
• 1 small onion, diced *
• ¼ teaspoon salt **
• ¼ teaspoon dry mustard **
• 2 heaping cups cooked or canned green beans ***
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar **
• 1 tablespoon vinegar **
• ½ cup bean water **

Optional: 1 hard-boiled egg, diced (can be cooked well ahead)

*These items can be adjusted for taste.  I LUV MORE bacon, like triple the bacon.  Let’s just say OINK!

** These items can and should be adjusted to taste.  I double these so I have more of the “saucy” part.  Plus, you may like it sweeter, tangier, or etc.

*** I use canned French Cut Green Beans.  I feel like more of the sauce flavor hitches a ride on those thin slices than on regularly cut beans.  More exposed surface to hold all that saucy goodness!  Just a preference, do it as you wish!  If you use fresh or frozen beans instead of canned green beans, cook in lightly salted water until tender.  I typically make large cans of beans because I can eat ONE can, by myself, in one sitting on a serious OINK day.  Yes, like I said, COMFORT FOOD.  I can happily eat this dish for a couple of days.

I have never actually garnished/finished off this dish with the egg.  I have no idea if it adds to the flavor, or just to the prep-time.  But, just in case you want good instructions on boiling eggs, I am posting my way of boiling them in the next entry.

As I researched various recipes for this dish, I found they typically say to cook the bacon until crisp.  Drain, cool, crumble, and set aside.  I personally only cook the bacon until ALMOST crisp.  I like the chewy firm option.

Yea, go ahead, laugh…

I find really crispy bacon, while it crumbles nicely, stays too hard and can hurt the teeth when you bite into it.  I also keep more of the bacon grease to add to the dish since I have doubled the liquids and spices.  AND, let’s face it, I am from The South, so I obviously have a love affair with it.  I want lots of flavor.  Flavor rides on fat.

Don’t talk to me about healthy.  This recipe contains beans.  I call that “healthy enough”.

With 1 tablespoon (yea, right) of the bacon grease, sauté the diced onion pieces until just tender.

Drop in the bacon pieces.

Add the mustard and brown sugar and mix into the onion and bacon.

Drain the cooked or canned bean water into another container.  Reserve at least a ½ cup of the bean water to whisk in the cornstarch to avoid lumps. 

Pour at least 1 cup of bean water into the onion mixture and heat a a few minutes.  Yes, a 'few'. You will get a feel for this.

Stir the cornstarch combination in with the onion mixture.

While the cornstarch mixture heats, I add the beans, but you can wait until the liquid has thickened if you want. Cook, stirring constantly, until the concoction comes to a low boil and the liquid thickens a bit.  Approximately 3+- minutes.

Pour into a serving dish and sprinkle the top with the chopped egg and other crumbled cooked bacon if you wish.

Enjoy!