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+++Enter At Your Own Risk+++ At the gentle nudging (I said gentle y'all) of a few friends, I have started these blogs in order to share my culinary goings-on and daily misadventures through my own brand of humor (ok, sarcasm). I just write about stuff! At 50, I have learned that living has gotten in the way of life - and I am going to blaze my own personal trail to fun (hopefully)! If it is feminine, great. If it is not, so much the better! Hopefully fun that does not land me in jail............
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Porky

I am tired.

So today I had a request to make pork chops using "Shake-N-Bake".  I was thinking to myself "self, you like to cook when there are folks to cook for, not use boxed meals."  "Oh, and self, you are tired..."

The last weeks have been sort of non-stop, in a way.  Animal sitting, running here and there with music events, gardening in my little raised garden beds, being the sole emotional support system for a loved one....

Why am I writing those vague little daily details?  As an explanation concerning why I agreed to do someone else's grocery shopping and use "Shake-N-Bake" pork chops today...

As much as I like to cook, and mostly CAN cook, I am baffled by the simplest instructions on boxed meal kits such as "Shake-N-Bake".  The concept of 'easy meals' is hard for me to grasp for some reason.  Now, does this mean I am incapable of nuking a TV dinner for myself?  Hell no!!!  I will nuke and eat a TV dinner at the drop of a hat if I am sitting around alone and in a 'mood' as I will not waste energy going out or whipping up meals every day.  Of course I add finishing salt, fresh ground pepper, Amish butter......  

I am a social cook.  I need the approval of the foods I cook by friends and family to make the effort worth while.

Anyhow, no, I cannot do anything the easy way it seems (see TV dinner nuking above...).  What makes pork chops better? BRINING! Yes! Let's brine the pork chops for a few hours THEN use "Shake-N-Bake" on them! 

Who does this?

Me...

Salt bath anyone?
Today's brining solution for 4 bone-in pork chops was 2 cups water, 2 tablespoons table salt, 1 tablespoon honey, and a 1/2 teaspoon each of garlic powder and onion powder.  I mixed up the solution, rinsed off my 4 chops, put the chops and the solution in a large Ziploc bag and placed in the fridge for 6 hours.  I would 'agitate' the bag periodically (meaning as I remembered) during those 6 hours.

I preheated the oven when I got hungry, read the box directions (which I will not force you to read here) and followed them.  I probably should have rinsed the salty goodness off the chops, but hey, I like salt...

I baked the chops on an old aluminum foil-lined pizza pan and let me just say................

Moist.

Flavorful.

Good stuff.  I served those breaded puppies up with homemade cornbread and black-eyed peas. Nothing healthy to see here folks!  Keep it moving, keep it moving.....

Today, I found a recipe for homemade shake-n-bake a on a blog called Diary of a Recipe Addict. I am so going to try this!  If I make my S&B mixture, then I can be happy!






Monday, May 27, 2013

My Spicy Saltines

I was introduced to these little flavor packed gems at Ciderville a few weeks back when there was a birthday party for one of the younger regulars.  A party-goer brought a version of these.  I was pushed, against my assumed better judgement, to try one and - I was hooked.  I could not get the recipe that night, but does that ever stop me?

Let's say.....  "NO"

It's GOOGLE time in Tennessee!  I found option after option and started playing with them. 

My little H.O.T. beauties have a pretty red tint
Think impromptu popcorn alternative for a DVD couch date, a snack to pass at a party, or easy to transport treat for remote gatherings such as picnics or camping.

Hot version:
1 1/4c canola oil or light flavored olive oil
1 package dry Ranch dressing mix (not dip mix)
1-3 tablespoons crushed red pepper (looks pretty and adds FLAVOR)
1 tablespoon GROUND red pepper
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 box (16 oz) saltine crackers of your choice.

Mild version:
1 1/4c canola oil or light flavored olive oil
1 package dry Ranch dressing mix (not dip mix)
1-3 tablespoons crushed red pepper (looks pretty and adds FLAVOR)
1 tablespoon GROUND red pepper OMIT
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 box (16 oz) saltine crackers of your choice.

Choose your version, or make up your own. 

Mix the oil and all dry ingredients except for the crackers.

Place the crackers in a large ziplock container or a large gallon *ziplock bag.

Pour the mixture all over crackers and seal the container/bag. Turn the container/bag in all directions. Aggitate, etc.  Do this for 15 minutes or until it looks like the liquid is fairly 'gone'.

The crackers are great pretty much there. However, if you are afforded the luxury of a few hours to a day or 2, they get better so make ahead of time!

Also, as a crisping option, preheat the oven to 250 degrees F.  Spread the crackers over a baking sheet and bake for 15-20 - turning them over about half through the 'crisping' time.

*If you use the baggie option, consider using 2 so they are not bunched up and can be aggitated to assist in evenly coating them.  Put half the crackers in each bag and pour half the mixture in each baggie.

If you wish to half the recipe - do the math.  I personally make half  batch at a time.  I paperclip the ranch dressing packet for later use.

Obviously, as with most of my offerings, in this cyber pantry, you can play with the spices. Change the amounts to suit you.  You can omit all the actual spices here and go with a combination that sits well with your palate.  Think Ranch dressing mix, dill and garlic powder.

Sweet Endive, Nuts, Feta, & Honey

Well, there is the recipe for this appetizer - right in the title. 

Done.

OK, not really done.

This recipe is as I remember it.  The photo is from a recent serving of it.

It was a surprise find several years ago when my then husband and I went to a dinner party (yes, imagine it!  We did dinner parties).  The hostess served these little treasures up as a time filling appetizer while the main course finished.  I remember nearly turning my snooty nose up at these babeees, but at the nudging of my socially advanced then husband, I took a bite. 

Hooked.  In love.  Have found no one trying them and then not liking them. 


Rich in folate, fiber, & Vitamins A & K



This appetizer has no fancy name that I know of. It just is what it is. Belgian Endive, Walnuts, Feta, and Honey.





  • Endive, believe it or not, is part of the 'Daisy' family! It is eaten raw or cooked. 
    • Find it in the fresh vegetable section at most local grocery stores.
      • $1.99 for ONE (1)
  • The walnuts can be plain or toasted. 
    • I am curious what candied nuts would do for everyone!
  • Choose cheeses such as Feta (milder), Blue Cheese, or Gorgonzola (Italian Blue Cheese).
    • I have found that I prefer a strong cheese over the Feta - to counteract the sweetness of the honey.
  • The honey can be whatever honey you have in your cupboard. 
    • Just as an FYI, honey does come in 'varieties'. It all depends on where those little busy bees buzzed. It depends on the variety of flower predominant in the batch of honey. In my limited experience, honey ranges from lighter/milder tasting forms all the way to dark, can't see light through it, strong molasses tasting honey.
Witloof Chicory (Cichorium Intybus L)
I am not going to give amounts here.  I think a photo does the trick in that respect.

Slice off about one 1/2" of root end of each clean endive head and separate the leaves. Arrange them on a platter/plate of your choosing.  Whatever makes the presentation pleasing to you.

Sprinkle your choice of cheese crumbles inside of each leaf.

Sprinkle chopped nuts over the cheese.

Drizzle, as artistically as you see fit, the honey of your choosing.

Options:
  • Leave off the honey and finish each treasure with fresh ground black pepper instead.
  • Serve with apple slices as an accompaniment.
    • I prefer Braeburn or Pink Lady
I do not know how far ahead of time you can make these, but they take so little time, I would not worry with that.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Inventory

"A careful inventory of all your past experiences may disclose the startling fact that everything has happened for the best."  ~ Unknown
My bag of food tricks
I was in the kitchen at work when I realized I had left my 'travel-cooler-bag-of-tricks' on the counter - forever......  Time to take it home. 

This bag was a mainstay for me and had traveled with me over a few years on trips to quite a few places. Camping, Virginia, Washington DC, golfing, more camping, Athens (Tennessee, not Greece), the Lost Sea (admit it, you know where I am talking about), etc.  I typically carried it with food (cheeses, crackers, fruits, juices, chocolates, etc.) so that we always had something to munch on and always supplies to prepare and munch with. 

When I noticed that the front pocket zipper-pull was missing and as I started to zip it shut, I caught a glimpse inside.  I realized I had no idea what was in the pocket, or the bag for that matter, because I had not been anywhere with it in so long.  The bag has been shoved in a closet for the past year.

I started digging through it and found: 1 vegetable pealer, 1 bottle opener, 2 cork screws, 2 old corks, 2 bottle stoppers, a wine tasting book, 1 container of sea salt, 1 pepper mill, a cheese board, a very sharp knife, 1 wire cheese slicer, 3 cloth napkins, 2 small paper plates, a half dozen place settings of plastic flatware, 3 coffee condiment sets from a hotel and a tea bag, 4 tickets for the International Spy Museum in Wash. DC, 1 Metro card, and a list of electronic panel notes that are not in my handwriting.

Why am I writing about this?  I have no idea...  I guess I just wonder how I let it happen. I mean, obviously with 2 cork screws and the rest of the items I found in there, I/we were having fun and always satisfied, right?

How did allow myself to get to a place in my life where I get away so seldom and when I do I don't even remember to carry my bag of food tricks....

Tomorrow I will turn that corner and get back on "my" path in life by preparing for a short personal holiday.  This holiday will include "I have no idea what". I might take Cleo-the-dawg with me.  I probably won't see a soul that I know.  I will just drive, putz, and see what comes up.  I am going to make (and break) my own rules and go by no one's schedule.  OK, except maybe Cleo's schedule if I really take her with me.

BTW, I replaced the zipper pull with a jumbo striped paper-clip!

"Inventory"
"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”
~Dorothy Parker

Thursday, May 24, 2012

No Icing Chocolate Cake - AKA - Chocolate Love in a Box!!!

I have been making this cake since I learned the recipe from a General's wife in Darmstadt W. Germany back in 1986-1987.  This cake, as easy as it is, will make you look like a baking rock-star at gatherings.
This is the ONLY chocolate cake I will eat HAPPILY without icing. I am an icing maniac – but with the almost ‘cheesecake’ marbling and the chocolate chips – it is great without messy icing. This makes it very portable for family gatherings – picnics and etc.

No Icing Chocolate Cake

Cream Cheese Addition:
  • 1 (8+- ounce) pkg cream cheese of your choice – SOFTENED at room temperature maybe an hour or 2
  • 1 egg beaten
  • ¼ c granulated sugar
  • ¼ - ½ tsp vanilla

Cake Portion:
  • 1 box Betty Crocker (Pudding in the mix) Devil’s Food Cake Mix
  • (Make sure you have the ingredients you must use with the mix – i.e. eggs, oil, etc)

The Love:
  • 1 (12+- ounce) package chocolate chips (regular size or mini) – semi sweet – any brand. I have never used the whole package. Usually half a package – but hey, it is YOUR cake!

Equipment:
  • Hand mixer (unless you are crazy enough to whip this up by hand power)
  • 1 mixing bowl large enough to handle the Cake Portion
  • 1 bowl large enough to hand the Cream Cheese addition
  • 1 scraper for scraping bowl sides
  • 1 knife to run through the batter/cheese to give the ‘marbled’ effect.
  • Cake pan of your choice
Cream Cheese Portion in 1st bowl:
  • Using the hand mixer, cream the cream cheese brick.
  • Add the sugar and cream that in.
  • Add the egg and beat that in.
  • Add the vanilla and beat that in.
  • Set aside.

Cake Portion in 2nd bowl:
  • Prepare the cake mix per the recipe on the box.
  • Pour batter into the cake pan of your choice
Finish:
  • After pouring the batter into the pan, I tap the pan on the counter to help settle the batter in it.
  • I sprinkle however many chocolate chips I feel like – on the top of the batter at this point.
  • Take the spatula and place 6-8 large dollops of the cream cheese mixture around the top of batter in various spots.
  • Drop more chips on TOP of the cream cheese dollops.
  • Run the knife/flat spatula up and down the batter to create the marbled effect.

Bake per directions on box.

Suggestions:
  • Set out the cream cheese a couple of hours ahead of when you want to make this recipe. Adjust time according to how hot/cold your environment is. And do NOT use a microwave to try to speed the process. I say THIS from EXPERIENCE….
  • Mix up the cream cheese/cheese cake portion first so the cake with its leavening components is not sitting waiting in the pan.
  • Scrape bowls periodically during mixing.
  • Shiny metal pans are the first choice for baking cakes.
  • Dark non-stick cake pans may require you to reduce heat by 25F because they absorb heat and brown faster.
  • I use the largest cake pan the box calls for. I have never tried this recipe for cupcakes or tiers.
  • Bake in center of oven.
  • I absolutely use the longest baking time called for on the box for the size cake pan I am using.
  • Cake is done with a toothpick poked in the center comes out clean.
  • Cool cakes on a wire rack away from drafts.
  • Due to cream cheese mixture, I refrigerate the cake if I am going to be keeping it for several days, but it will work at any event without cooling. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

SOUTHWESTERN CHICKEN SALAD – I had no idea…


A very slight variation on a Pampered Chef Recipe

I had no idea I would ever willingly pass up cake for salad.

My friend Lisa invited me to a Pampered Chef (PC) party – and it happened to fall on a day that work was INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE.  I had a “run-in” with a co-worker that I did not expect.  Needless to say, I was NOT in good humor. 

Actually, I have been in ‘less than good humor” for a few months.  That is a story for another day. 

Anywho, I was in no mood to attend the party, but Lisa needed bodies, and I committed myself to attend a whole month ahead of time. Lisa is great at reminding me when the event it coming up.  I cannot even conveniently ‘forget’.

I am not a big “gadget” girl.  I especially avoid electrical appliances. Why?
  • Cost (I always want the best – champagne taste on a beer budget)
  • Space to store them (I have a 900 Sqf house)
  • If the power goes out, I can keep cooking/prepping by candlelight and with a grill

I guess I need to list MY ‘cooking must-haves’ someday.

I had only been to one other PC party. I purchased a slicing mandolin and a set of torte pans – that I have never used. I had warned Lisa that I would probably not buy anything really, but I would go.

Famous last words.

So, in the ‘not so fabulous mood’, I meet up with Lisa and follow her to I-have-no-idea-where. I remember saying out loud ‘Hurry up, I hear banjos playing’.  Now, it wasn’t the country – but I had no idea where I was.  Thank goodness I have a GPS to get me back home, or I would be typing things like “Help, I am trapped in a cell-phone factory and I can’t get out!

When the ‘party’ started, there were 10-12 people. The PC consultant was high energy and a good saleswoman. She had us engaged and participating.  No small task with me that night.  I was the first to fall – she picks me to be the ticket-girl. I gave out tix to anyone who asked a question about the business end of PC.  Yes, PC is always looking for a few good women!  If I were ever going to be a consultant for a business such as this (Avon, Premier Jewelry, Princess House, etc.) it would be PC.

After the initial quick run-through of specials, business options, and highlights in the catalog, the consultant announced we would have food for the evening and proceeded to assign each of us a task for creating the meal of the night. 

Menu:
  • No-Knead Yeast Bread made earlier
  • Southwestern Chicken Salad
  • Chocolate Lava Cake

She asked ‘who has had the worst day’? Lisa points to me…  So, I got to ‘beat the meat’.  Yes, it went hysterically downhill from there. We had spice girls, a cake mixer, a salad spinner, can openers…  But no, Cookie gets to not only beat her meat, she also got to massage her breasts with olive oil. Do you see where that went?  The atmosphere went downright dirty…  It was fun actually.

So, bottom line? I learned the following tips:
  1. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts cook unevenly due to thickness issues. So beat the meat to even it out.
  2. When beating your meat, put it in a ziplock bag to keep the mallet clean and keep meat from flying if you get too energetic with beating it.
  3. Put a little olive oil inside the bag after you beat your meat – and massage that oil around in the sealed bag.
  4. You can make ready-made salad dressing into a totally new flavor with a few added ingredients.
  5. Chocolate Lava Cakes made in the microwave are pretty darn good.
  6. If a salad is so good that I will pass up the chocolate cake and stuff myself on the salad – it is an awesome salad!
  7. If you cut up, wash and spin dry your lettuce, then place it in a paper-towel lined stainless bowl and cover, it will last like a week.  I am currently testing this one!

My Purchases:
  • 2 each Dijon Mustard Rubs
    • One for me, one for a friend
    • I just smelled it in the bottle and I was ‘up-sold’
  • 1 grill pizza pan
    • For cooking your pizza in the grill
  • 1 set of nesting biscuit cutters
    • For a friend.
    • I use my grandmother’s old cutter.
  • 1 Adjustable Measuring Cup
    • For a friend.
  • 1 Mini Adjustable Measuring Cup
    • For a friend.
  • 1 Food Processor (non-electrical)
    • Mine, all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just say that I have made the Southwestern Chicken Salad several times in the past 3 weeks.  EVERYONE has LOVED it. Nobody has turned their nose up or thought it was simply “ok”.  This is a great salad with a different flavor.

OK¸ enough of the babble.  As with most ‘non-baking’ recipes, I have made a few changes and have noted them in the following recipe:

Ingredients:
  • 16 ounce bottle of ranch salad dressing
  • 1 fresh jalapeno pepper (with pith/seeds removed and diced or run through food processor)
  • Juice of 1/2 or 1 lime (I use fresh squeezed, not bottled)
  • 4- 6 tsp. taco seasoning mix (I like a little more than the original 4 tsp) I make my own now....
  • 1 small yellow or red onion (I do not put much onion in, but that is my preference)
  • 1 ½ +- pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts
  • 1-2 Tbl. Olive oil
  • 1 clove fresh garlic, peeled and minced (I use a garlic press)
  • 1 head iceberg, green leaf, or romaine lettuce (I use romaine)
  • 3 Roma tomatoes (or a package of cherry/grape tomatoes)
  • 1 fresh cucumber, sliced (you can score along the length of the cucumber with a fork to create a ‘flower’ affect after they are sliced)
  • 1 green, red or yellow bell pepper
  • 1 can (14 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1 can yellow sweet corn, drained
  • 1 block (8 ounces) cheddar cheese, grated (Or bagged pre-grated Cheddar – I like super-super sharp)
  • 1 bag tortilla chips, crushed
  • Your choice of ‘rubs’ for the chicken.  (I use homemade taco seasoning)
  • Optional: Sliced Avocado

Instructions:
  • Dressing
    • Pour salad dressing into a 2c (or larger) glass/ceramic container.
    • Stir in jalapeno, lime juice and taco seasoning and stir well. I use a whisk.

  • Chicken
    • Place chicken breasts in a ziplock bag, get most air out and seal it.
    • Use a mallet to beat your meat – down so that each breast is generally the same thickness from one end to the other.
    • Open the bag, pour your olive oil in, reseal and massage the oil around all over the breasts.
    • Open the bag, add the garlic and reseal and massage the garlic around your breasts.
    • Coat a fry pan with oil and preheat on medium heat. Or preheat your George Foreman Grill (that is what I have been doing).
    • Press ½ lime over chicken using Citrus Press (note, I have NOT done that yet. Keep forgetting!)
    • Either cut open the bag or pull your breasts out of the covering and coat with your choice of “Rubs”
    • You can use salt and pepper if you wish, but if you choose a nice “Rub or Rubs” will negate the need really.  And THAT piece of advice comes from someone who OFTEN over salts foods because I LOVE SALT.
    • I would tell you how long to cook the chicken – but that is up to you. You want it cooked through, but not dry.
    • Cut into thin slices – maybe 1”-2” in length. Do as you wish on that part.

  • Salad
    • Cut lettuce of choice
    • Rinse lettuce well and spin excess water out in spinner
    • Place in large bowl
    • Add chicken, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, black beans, sweet corn, cheddar cheese, avocado (if used), and crushed tortilla chips.
    • Toss
    • Add salad dressing.
    • Toss
    • Serve
      • -OR-
        • Layer the salad ingredients to be pretty.
        • Serve with dressing on the side.

My suggestions:
  • The salad fed 10 people (along with a no knead bread that was made ahead of time and a chocolate lava cake). 
    • You can cut all the ingredients and store in the fridge separately to pull at a moment’s notice. 
    • Great for carting to lunch functions.
    • If you make a large salad, do NOT put the crushed chips in it until ready to serve so they do get soggy.
    • If you are serving this for a lot of people at one time and want to make sure your dressing does not run out – toss it into the salad before serving.
  • If calories are a concern, use a low cal Ranch dressing.
  • If calories are a SERIOUS concern, water the dressing down before tossing it into the salad.  You would not believe how far the flavor still goes.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Cold Chinese Noodles (Hiyashi Chuuka) from Erica (my infamous daughter)

This is a recipe my daughter posted and I tried. It was awesome... I can eat it OVER AND OVER...

Before you read it and freak out - let me say that I get lazy with this recipe. I chop up the veggies and such however I feel like doing it. I am a little less concerned with presentation when my tummy is grumbling. I also make up the sauce a few hours ahead or a day ahead to mellow the garlic and I also keep it for a week or more (evil me) in the fridge - eating away at it. 


Warning, TMI Moment: Mellowing the garlic out makes it easier on my delicate gastrointestinal constitution.

I have tried it with steak cut up in the noodles also - YUM! And, I have changed the sauce because it is too sweet for me as written below. I know, I know, I eat chocolate and drink coke - but seriously, I like this sauce as follows:
2 medium clove of garlic, minced
1 - 1.5 Tbsp. sugar 
2 Tbsp. vinegar (white or rice, cider if you're in a pinch)
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
a pinch of salt
a few drops of sesame oil

Also, do not be afraid to change up toppings... You do not have to use all of these or even any of these - although, so far my favorites are cucumbers, steak, avocado, TOMATOES and spring onions.

Thanks Erica - daughter!


Here is what Erica writes in her FB notes:
This dish is probably my single favorite from my Japanese cooking and language course. It's the one I made for you, dad, when you were very ill a few years ago. For ages I couldn't find my recipe, so I had to rely on incomplete and imbalanced versions I found online, or Frankenstein monsters I created from memory. At last, however, I found the recipe and have translated it here for your pleasure. ;D

The recipe is easy enough for a young kid to do with minimal supervision but sophisticated enough for adults. Hiyashi chuuka is a traditional summer food and makes a great appetizer or light brunch/lunch. If you're a ramen-eater and you've run out of ways to cook your cheap food of choice, this recipe is for you.

Makes 4-6 lunch servings (unless you're like me and really like your noodles)

Noodles and Toppings
4 packets of ramen (I have also used udon noodles for this, also wonderful)
sesame oil

Note: All of the below are optional, but some combination of these toppings should make their way into your hiyashi chuuka for optimal nomming. The starred ingredients are for making an omelette to put on the noodles, which in my opinion is completely awesome. If you like tamago sushi, you'll like egg omelet on your chuuka.
1 cucumber, peeled, seedy center removed, and cut into matchstick-width sticks
1 carrot, matchstick cut
3 eggs*
cooking oil*
1/4 lb. ham (nice deli ham works very well, so will leftover ham) thinly sliced into ribbons
2 green onions, sliced into thin diagonal rounds
green or red leaf lettuce cut into ribbons
1 ripe avocado, diced large

Sauce
1 medium clove of garlic, minced
3 Tbsp. sugar (I substituted honey and brown sugar for the usual white sugar today, and it was surprisingly fine)
2 Tbsp. vinegar (white or rice, cider if you're in a pinch)
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
a pinch of salt
a few drops of sesame oil

Combine all of the sauce ingredients in a bowl, mix well until the sugar and salt are dissolved, then cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. This sauce can be prepared in advance with no ill effects, just be sure to eat it within a couple of days. If you want to increase the amount of sauce, just up the ingredients according to the 3:2:1 liquid ratio.

Set aside or discard the ramen flavoring packets, as we won't be using those. Bring water to a boil in a large pot, boil the ramen for 3 minutes, then drain and rinse in cold water in a colander until all the noodles are cold. Set aside to drain for a minute, then pour the noodles into a bowl and stir in enough sesame oil that all of the noodles are lightly coated. This usually takes at least a couple tablespoons of oil.

If you are making the omelet, beat your 3 eggs with a pinch of salt and a pinch of sugar. Heat a small amount of oil in a frying pan over medium-low. I often use sesame oil, but because that oil has such a low smoke point, you may find corn or canola oil to be more manageable here. Once the oil has heated up, swirl it around the pan gently, then pour in the egg mixture. Make sure the omelet is reasonably thin--it should be roughly 1/2 a centimeter thick, so swirl the egg mix around the bottom of the pan if you need to. After the bottom has solidified and the top becomes a bit opaque, use a spatula to lift the omelet and turn it completely over like a pancake--don't worry if the top is still runny. Cook for a minute or two more, then turn off the heat and allow the omelet to finish under its own power and cool. Once it is cooled enough to touch, slice the omelet into long, thin ribbons.

Prep your toppings. The thing to keep in mind is that this dish was originally designed to eat with chopsticks, and hence all of the ingredients should be cut "hosonagai"--thin and long, as if they were noodles. That is how your ham, omelet, cucumbers, and any other vegetable ingredients should be cut. Avocado won't stand up to that treatment, so a large dice works well instead.

Divide the noodles among bowls, top with the sauce, and arrange your toppings in bowls or on a 

plate to your liking. Serve and let your guests/family choose what they'd like on their hiyashi chuuka. Enjoy!

Kimshee is Our Friend

I thought I would throw out a little follow-up on the Kimchee/kimshee adventure of January 3rd, 2011.

As it turns out, that Kimshee lasted about a month in the refrigerator.  It did not go bad, it just got better and better and eventually found itself gone...

About three weeks ago I remade the same recipe except this time the following things were done differently:

  1. I bought the Napa Cabbage and went straight home to process it in a big bucket with sea salt instead of being a lazy arse and letting part of cabbage go bad. 
  2. I forget the Diakon Radish. BTW, why is it called rAAAdish and not rAEdish with a long "A"? So, when I went out I picked up the radish and added it the next day. No harm, no foul.  It worked!   
  3. The ratio of fresh ginger was higher and diced not sliced in the second batch. I say "fresh" but it was in the refrigerator leftover from the January 3 batch.
  4. The jar sat out on the counter fermenting for a week instead of just three days.

This past Saturday I tried it and drew the following conclusion:

  • It was a bit heavy in ginger in my opinion - however - I am not accustomed to ginger, so it may just be a preference issue.
  • It was a little darker than I remembered the first batch.
  • It tasted awesome in all other respects.
  • I did not get sick on it!

So, I call this a win and a success!

What did I learn?
Cut down on the ginger and even my picky mother will eat it with her meals.
Make a jar about every three weeks and I will have Kimshee year round.
Time to branch into a new recipe to see what happens.
Fish oil is interesting.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Oh No She Just Didn't....

(Or, “Oh no she did NOT just write that!!!)

So, for giggles and grins, I am going to include a couple more facets in my little blog – just to change it up a bit.

Alcoholic Beverage Factoids (at least as I understand them)
Places to eat (or maybe seriously to avoid)
Little food bites (pun intended)

Yea, there are plenty of places to glean information about booze and eateries; I know this. But, sometimes it is fun reading or hearing of experiences from different people, especially from people that fall into “drama-tic” situations easily.  Yea, I know a few of you reading this know what I am talking about.  “You just can’t make this s#!t up”, “Hey Shannon-Rae, watch this” or “ you will not believe what happened when the elephant stepped out”! If it isn’t that interesting, I will promise to make some tale up (then let you know that I did).

These might include future fun, past disasters, stories from way long ago. One never knows what my mood is and what will come out!

Disclaimer:

You all know I get rude, in trouble, push the envelope and etc.  Enter at your own risk of a coronary…

:-*

Marinated Bean Salad


Marinated Bean Salad

Okay, this bean salad has many names – and they usually include the number of bean types incorporated into the recipe.  My thinking is if you like the bean/pea/legume at all – include it. If you do not like it – leave it out. If you have to make this for a large gathering – use one can of each of MANY items even if you are not keen on them because you won’t taste them with all the other goods going on anyway!

This item is seen on many salad bars and usually does NOT taste that good. Either it is not made with enough of the good stuff (salt, sugar, vinegar and etc.) or it has actually been made but only right before it hit the bar. No marinating happened. No flavors soaked in. No fun to waste stomach space with.

This bad boy is EASY as hell. You do not have to understand physics, chemistry, baking, or why the chicken crossed the road. You just mix, chill and go.

If you are on a bit of a budget, and you need to take a dish to a gathering of say 5 or more people, buy the store brands of the ingredients, mix it up when you have time a day or two earlier and watch people be impressed with your COOKING ABILITY!

If you are only serving maybe 3-6 people, only use maybe 4 of the canned ingredients. If you are serving more, add a can of something per every 2 people expected.  If you add canned goods, make a little more of the marinade. If you love this, make more using more cans because you have about a week or so to eat it.  I stuff my face with it at night when I am too lazy to make anything.

This is the easiest thing to make - and it is SOOOO good IF you let it marinade a day or even two. It simply gets better as it sits. THAT, my friends, is the key!

Marinated Bean Salad

1 can cut green (or French) beans
1 can bean sprouts
1 can lima beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can shoepeg corn
1 can baby corn ears
1 can garbonzos
Ok, pretty much put in 3 or 4 cans of whatever you like up there…
1 onion cut up
1 green pepper cut up
1 cup oil (light olive, corn, etc)
1 cup vinegar (white)
1 teaspoon salt
¾ cup sugar

Mix oil, vinegar, sugar and salt. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Set aside.
Drain veggies and put everything in a large container (big enough to hold this nightmare)
Pour liquid over veggies.

Marinade AT LEAST 24 hours. Stir occasionally. This gets better as it sits. So, again, this can be made a day or two early instead of rushing the last minute!

Keep refrigerated after mixing...

Okay – the disclaimer?  Yeah, the fine print…

This will make you a gassy gopher baby!  So, if you have to live with any of the people eating this – make them sleep in the guest room…

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Was it Worth it? -OR- Beef Burgundy Part Deux


Yes, It has taken me over a month to follow-up on this first edition (technically second – but
YUM!!!
who is counting?).  Since I was trying to finish up my graduate degree and work full-time, I sort of fell off the “living-wagon” for a month or so.

I was lucky when embarking on this cooking-fest. My mother volunteered to do the grocery shopping. No people, I do NOT like to grocery shop. Yes, that makes it difficult to do all the cooking I like to do. No, that does not change the fact that I do not really grocery shop.

We started on a Friday night after I drove the hour home from work. My reasoning for cooking on a Friday night for a meal to be served Monday at work was two-fold.
  1. I wanted the stew to develop in flavor – as it does over a few days in my opinion.
  2. Pearl Babeeeez
  3. I had a date Saturday/Sunday, thus would have no time to cook those days.
We doubled the recipe that I posted in November. That means there was a lot of extra work when it came to cleaning and preparing the sheer number of mushrooms and pearl onions.

The only “not so authentic ingredient” was mom used smoked bacon from the freezer for the lardons. I was not keen on this, but it did work fine apparently.

The dollar amount for this meal topped $90 when the wine was included in the bill. Not cheap for a recipe, but when you consider I probably managed 20 good servings...
Shroooomzzz

My mother did some of the sous-chef duties such as peeling most of the pearl onions, cutting the carrots, prepping mushrooms, slicing the large onion and the whole moral support thing like “we are NOT doing this again” and “this is taking 10 times the steps and time any recipe should”. She did all this while I worked on the lardons, cut the beef (not cheese), cooked the beef and etc.

I’ll not chronicle the whole and complete process since it has been over a month ago. I will say that it took upwards of 8 hours to prepare. That number is not adjusted to account for two people working at once and does NOT include the time after all was prepped and the pots sat in the oven baking before or during my over-sleeping a little. It also does not include the time I took driving too and from Knoxville in the middle of it to get the wine bottle opener because mom could not locate hers.
MEATS!!!

I will tell you that I did crowd the mushrooms when cooking them. I learned that everything Julia Child writes about cooking the mushrooms is correct.  Turn the heat high enough to sear the flavor into mushrooms. Do not crowd them or they will simply steam and lose flavor. The mushrooms do soak up the flavorful hot oil when they start to heat up, cook a bit and then release moisture.  An amazing process you simply need to try.
I did rinse off and dry the beef before cooking it. Julia Child states “Dry beef in paper towels; it will not brown properly if it is damp”. My daughter has informed me that
adding a little bit of baking soda to the water used to rinse raw meat gets any meat “stink” off and acts as a tenderizer.

I did cook the stew in the oven in two enameled cast iron Dutch ovens. I made a small portion
MMMMM
sans ‘shrooms’ for a pregnant coworker who is avoiding fungi as well!

A list of the most insane concept in this recipe for me follows:
  1. The lardons must be boiled then fried and removed from their own hot fat in order to cook the beef in the oil.
  2. You must cook the pearl onions and a sauce in a very specific manner prior to adding them to the main dish.
  3. You must cook the mushrooms in a very specific manner prior to adding them to the main dish.
  4. Once the whole recipe is done cooking, you must sieve the contents of the stew, reserving the liquid separately.
  5. The liquid must have the fats skimmed off then reduced only to be added back to the
    Veggies
    solids.
The normal options for serving BB include serving over new potatoes, rice or flat noodles.  I opted for new potatoes because I think that is a more authentic option and rice is Asian, not French. We were going to dig potatoes from the garden if any were left, but it rained and left a swamp. We decided to skip that knee deep in water field trip and simply bought potatoes to boil whole or halved.

The whole time mom and I worked on this – and up to the point my coworkers tried it – I was paranoid that the red wine flavor would put the benefactors of the meal off. That was SOOOOO unnecessary on my part.  Way too much paranoia.

That Monday morning I took to work bowls just for the stew, mismatched spoons, the stew in an electric crock to heat it and the potatoes to serve it over. I heated it back to hot for several hours.  It was dished out to the first five people at lunch. It earned rave reviews. All in all, I believe 12 people ate this over two days and everyone loved it. I should not have stressed.

We did have a few casualties. Two spoons and two stew plates disappeared from the common area when left to be washed. Oops.  Sorry mom! I will be replacing those...

Twelve out of Twelve thumbs up. The process is long, exacting, even annoying. The end product is still just as wonderful as I remembered.  I am not convinced I will make this recipe again, but I do plan on moving on to make any easier versions I find - just to see if shorter variations come out the same or fall short of the flavor found in Julia Child's version.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Boeuf Bourguignon

Boeuf A La Bourguignonne. Boeuf Bourguignon. Bœuf Bourguignon. Beef Burgundy.

No matter what you call it, or how your pronounce it, it is a little slice of liquid heaven. Say what you will about the French – hoity-toity, snooty lot that they are – but they do have awesome food!

The description of this dish in the book Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle and Simone Beck (published in 1961 by Knopf Doubleday) is “Beef Stew in Red Wine, with Bacon, Onions, and Mushrooms.” Let me just say – it is so much more than the sum of its individual ingredients. Wikipedia describes Beef Burgundy as “one of many examples of peasant dishes being slowly refined into haute cuisine. Most likely this particular method of slowly simmering the beef in wine originated as a means of tenderizing cuts of meat that would have been too tough to cook any other way.”

The dish itself was probably, in my opinion, made famous in the US by Julia Child and a cute little movie titled Julie and Julia.

I made this dish (after watching the movie and ordering the cookbook from Abebooks.com) with the help of a tag-team of friends a little over a year ago (ok, 15 months ago) and found it tedious, involved, demanding and picky. HOWEVER, without taking any short-cuts, I found this dish to taste absolutely heavenly when completed and slowly savored over young boiled potatoes served at an inviting table.

Simply put – in my words – this is a French Beef Stew with Booze made in heaven. Yes. That is my educated definition. Beef Stew with a built-in booze factor.

Now, being that I am from the south, I find recipes for soup, chili and stew to basically be “cook the meats a little and toss the raw ingredients together in a pot and heat for hours” sort of dishes. You can vary each ingredient as you see fit. Leave out what you don’t like. Put in more of what you do like. While I am a proponent of this sort of cooking – I find that it more than likely has a singular drawback; a lot of what I cook probably tastes fairly similar. I gravitate towards onion, garlic, pepper, salt, red pepper, potatoes… I must strive to make a recipe complete, from start to finish, ingredient by ingredient (even if I am turned off by any of the ingredients) to know if I like product from it and to stretch my "taste" repertoire. I do believe in using what you have just as my parents, grandparents and great grandparents did, but sometimes sucking it up and buying that extra ingredient really pays off!

Why, you might ask, am I blogging BEFORE the cooking event this time?  Because I can! And, this is such a huge recipe to me - I need to prepare!  Upside #1 - Mom is going to help prep. #2 - Boss is buying the ingredients because I am feeding work again!

My plan is to make Beef Burgundy every few weeks, as time and money allow, using various recipes, ingredients and techniques that I find. I want to know if taking the long route to stew heaven is truly worth it.

The recipe below is the basic recipe from Julia Child and her cadre. It does not have short cuts. There are many steps. From memory, I know that baking this in the oven is a better, providing a more even heat than on the stove-top. I will also do a little more research, before Friday, into marinating beef with red wine and see if doing that a day ahead is worth it.

Ingredients

• One 6-ounce piece of chunk bacon

• 3 1/2 tablespoons olive oil

• 3 pounds lean stewing beef, cut into 2-inch cubes

• 1 carrot, sliced

• 1 onion, sliced

• Salt and pepper

• 2 tablespoons flour

• 3 cups red wine, young and full-bodied (like Beaujolais, Cotes du Rhone or Burgundy)

• 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups brown beef stock

• 1 tablespoon tomato paste

• 2 cloves mashed garlic

• 1/2 teaspoon thyme

• A crumbled bay leaf

• 18 to 24 white onions, small

• 3 1/2 tablespoons butter

• Herb bouquet (4 parsley sprigs, one-half bay leaf, one-quarter teaspoon thyme, tied in cheesecloth) – Yea, I use the cheese cloth – but I place bottled spices within as this recipe is expensive enough!

• 1 pound mushrooms, fresh and quartered

Cooking Directions

Remove bacon rind and cut into lardons (sticks 1/4-inch thick and 1 1/2 inches long). Simmer rind and lardons for 10 minutes in 1 1/2 quarts water. Drain and dry.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Sauté lardons in 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a flameproof casserole over moderate heat for 2 to 3 minutes to brown lightly. Remove to a side dish with a slotted spoon.

Dry beef in paper towels; it will not brown if it is damp. Heat fat in casserole until almost smoking. Add beef, a few pieces at a time, and sauté until nicely browned on all sides (sealing in the juices nicely). Add it to the lardons.

In the same fat, brown the sliced vegetables. Pour out the excess fat.

Return the beef and bacon to the casserole and toss with 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Sprinkle on the flour and toss again to coat the beef lightly.

Set casserole uncovered in middle position of preheated oven for 4 minutes.

Toss the meat again and return to oven for 4 minutes (this browns the flour and coves the meat with a light crust).

Remove casserole and turn the oven down to 325 degrees.

Stir in wine and 2 to 3 cups stock, just enough so that the meat is barely covered.

Add the tomato paste, garlic, herbs and bacon rind. Bring to a simmer on top of the stove.

Cover casserole and set in lower third of oven. Regulate heat so that liquid simmers very slowly for 3 to 4 hours. The meat is done when a fork pierces it easily.

While the beef is cooking, prepare the onions and mushrooms.

Heat 1 1/2 tablespoons butter with one and one-half tablespoons of the oil until bubbling in a skillet.

Add onions and sauté over moderate heat for about 10 minutes, rolling them so they will brown as evenly as possible. Be careful not to break their skins. You cannot expect them to brown uniformly.

Add 1/2 cup of the stock, salt and pepper to taste and the herb bouquet.

Cover and simmer slowly for 40 to 50 minutes until the onions are perfectly tender but hold their shape, and the liquid has evaporated. Remove herb bouquet and set onions aside.

Wipe out skillet and heat remaining oil and butter over high heat. As soon as you see butter has begun to subside, indicating it is hot enough, add mushrooms.

Toss and shake pan for 4 to 5 minutes. As soon as they have begun to brown lightly, remove from heat.

When the meat is tender, pour the contents of the casserole into a sieve set over a saucepan.

Wash out the casserole and return the beef and lardons to it. Distribute the cooked onions and mushrooms on top.

Skim fat off sauce in saucepan. Simmer sauce for a minute or 2, skimming off additional fat as it rises. You should have about 2 1/2 cups of sauce thick enough to coat a spoon lightly.

If too thin, boil it down rapidly. If too thick, mix in a few tablespoons stock. Taste carefully for seasoning.

Pour sauce over meat and vegetables. Cover and simmer 2 to 3 minutes, basting the meat and vegetables with the sauce several times.

Serve with potatoes (my favorite), noodles or rice.

You can find a PDF version of the original recipe from Knopf Doubleday at http://knopfdoubleday.com/marketing/cooking/BoeufBourguignon.pdf

Okay, after reading the recipe and and looking at the link I provided (you know you either have or will) - tell me how desperate for good food does one have to be to embark on this mission.

Prepare for post cooking follow-up.
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